Gen 43: 11 Then their father Israel said to them, "If it must be so, then do this: Put some of the best products of the land in your packs and take them down to the man as a gift—some balsam and some honey, aromatic gum and resin, pistachios and almonds. 12 Take twice as much money with you. Return the money that was returned [to you] in the top of your bags. Perhaps it was a mistake. 13 Take your brother also, and go back at once to the man. 14 May God Almighty cause the man to be merciful to you so that he will release your other brother and Benjamin to you. As for me, if I am deprived of my sons, then I am deprived."
Even Jacob, the man born to "grasp", had to give up his most valuable things -- his two sons when he started follow God and became Israel. This is the truth. We can not serve two masters, we cannot serve ourselves and God. If we decided to follow God, we have to deny ourselves. But remember, God always prepares before us and what he returns us will be the honor and glory of eternity. I am thankful for that.
Matthew 13: 47 "Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a large net thrown into the sea. It collected every kind [of fish], 48 and when it was full, they dragged it ashore, sat down, and gathered the good [fish] into containers, but threw out the worthless ones. 49 So it will be at the end of the age. The angels will go out, separate the evil people from the righteous, 50 and throw them into the blazing furnace. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Here is what confuses me. What's the "every kind of fish" mean -- all people/all Christians? If we are considered righteous because of our faith, then every kind of fish should mean all people and good fish should mean Christians. However, I also feel something further intended in this parable. But I don't know what's that. Just may Christ grows in me and eventually I will be the righteous people because Christ has conformed me to Himself.
52 "Therefore," He said to them, "every student of Scripture instructed in the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who brings out of his storeroom what is new and what is old." 53 When Jesus had finished these parables, He left there.
Another parable I don't really understand. Does this mean the apostles will be counted for the souls that has been led to the Lord by them? Or something else?
Psalm 18: 18 They confronted me in the day of my distress,Amen! This is exactly what is happening right now to me. I am in a lot of troubles in my life, some of them are caused by my bad judgement and fault. And now the devil is confronting me and accusing me. But thank the Lord, He is my support and shield. I know he will bring me to a wide-open place and rescue me from all these distress and attack. He is always rewarding me according to my righteousness which is obtained by faith in our Lord Jesus. And verse 21 also reminds me no matter what bad situation I am in, don't ask for help from the evil one, keep the ways of the Lord, only ask for help from Him!
but the LORD was my support.
19 He brought me out to a wide-open place;
He rescued me because He delighted in me.
20 The LORD rewarded me
according to my righteousness;
He repaid me
according to the cleanness of my hands.
21 For I have kept the ways of the LORD
and have not turned from my God to wickedness.
29 With You I can attack a barrier,Amen! That's the same belief I am holding on to right now!
and with my God I can leap over a wall.

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